


This Is Fine This Is All Fine It's Okay Guys It's Fine

by toastyboi



Category: SAKANA (Webcomic)
Genre: M/M, Mentions of past abuse, im so sorry if this is ooc i really treid, its like salty hinting at him, there are like brief mentions of arata, theres also a smooch, theres some hurt/comfort shit going on
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-30
Updated: 2016-07-30
Packaged: 2018-07-28 06:23:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,570
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7628503
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/toastyboi/pseuds/toastyboi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>yuudai finally comes to realize that taisei is 8383482837 time more trustworthy than arata and also is a sweetie</p>
            </blockquote>





	This Is Fine This Is All Fine It's Okay Guys It's Fine

**Author's Note:**

  * For [llovellyllady56](https://archiveofourown.org/users/llovellyllady56/gifts).



Maybe agreeing to this extravaganza (date) wasn’t such a bad idea after all. 

 

It could be going a lot worse for the both of them, all things considered. Yuudai was sure he would snap and say something to ruin the moment, but he managed to keep himself composed. The atmosphere in the beginning was pretty awkward considering the two of them never had much luck when it came to dating, but a joke was said, a couple of laughs were exchanged, and Yuudai began feeling himself relax, shoulders releasing their tension. 

 

Taisei was saying something about what happened at work, but Yuudai was only catching snippets of it. It was kind of disgusting (only in his opinion) how calm this guy was making him feel. So calm that he was catching subtle glimpses of things that Taisei was doing subconsciously. Stirring the iced coffee he had bought with its cheap plastic straw, his other hand shifting occasionally as he let his cheek rest against it. Hair lightly rustling up out of his eye every time the door opened and let in a warm breeze- and fuck, he really hated to admit this to himself, but Taisei looked kind of surreal. Like something straight out of a movie- where the camera pans in on the other’s face, looking like it was made just to be there. Slight smile, eyes looking  _ directly _ into his own.

 

This is bullshit.

 

“..nd so she was so surprised when she learned I had a brother! I think she might have even confused him for me- which is really weird since we don’t look all that much alike, especially when I’m in my business suit..uh. Yuudai? Are you okay?” 

 

Right, shit, he was supposed to be focusing on what Taisei (his  _ date _ ) was saying. He hadn’t even been drinking his coffee, even though it was almost empty anyways. He heard the last bit of what Taisei was saying, though, so he just nodded and cleared his throat. 

“Yeah, right. Sounds interesting.” Well,  _ he _ didn’t sound all that interested, but Yuudai didn’t really mean for it to be like that. Taisei only pursed his lips, letting his head raise. The magic movie moment was gone and now he just looked disappointed. Fuck fuck fuck, he should feel less bad than he is right now. 

 

“Do you want to leave? You seem kind of upset about being in here. I can- uh, I can find someplace else for us to go! There’s probably a small shop around here, or maybe a fountain or something- I don’t really know the area too well.” Damnit, now Taisei looked disappointed as well. This was exactly what Yuudai was hoping wouldn’t happen. He glanced around the shop, his shoulders tensing back up somewhat. 

 

“No! No, I’m not  _ upset _ about being here. Do you think we could just...” It’s okay Yuudai, you can voice your opinion without Taisei getting pissed at you (unlike  _ somebody else _ ). He let out a slow breath, running a hand through his hair of which he trimmed, just so he could maybe look a little more decent. “Maybe we could go somewhere less crowded. Or, something like that.” He spoke in a mumble, but it was obvious that Taisei heard since the way he perked up was more than obvious. 

 

“Of course! You could have just said something earlier, it’s not a problem! We got the coffee to go after all. Come on, think I can use my sense of direction to find us somewhere decent.” Without much else of a warning, Taisei stood up from the chair he was in and stuck out a hand enthusiastically for Yuudai to take. Not wanting to be rude, Yuudai took his hand and stood up, immediately letting it drop once he was well balanced. Just gotta go with baby steps. He definitely looked embarrassed, though.

 

Taisei understood however and didn’t try to push it. This was Yuudai after all- he probably needed to take some time to adjust to the whole ‘first date’ atmosphere. He motioned for Yuudai to follow as he exited the shop, turning his head quickly from one side to another before settling on one direction to go in. Yuudai followed hesitantly along, his steps just a couple paces behind Taisei due to the fact that he was pretty small in comparison (even though he was  _ well _ above average in terms of height and Taisei was just a fucking string bean). His hands were pushed into the pockets of his not even close to form fitting jacket, eyes kept ahead of him. Occasionally he would steal a glance at Taisei to make sure he was still there (maybe to make sure he was alright), and only once did they make eye contact.

 

One time too much, in his opinion. 

 

The silence was surprisingly comfortable, only because of the fact that Taisei was actually willing to do this just to make Yuudai feel more at ease. He didn’t know where they were going, but he trusted Taisei, which honestly was surprising to hear himself admit, considering he walked into this as a bundle of fucking nerves. He still was. 

 

What he  _ didn’t _ expected was to be lead into a quiet part of the shopping district, where everything was nice, and it wasn’t so bustling. They moved down sidewalks and through a park, until Taisei brought him along a stone path. Now Yuudai was paying more attention, but he didn’t really have enough time to think about anything until they entered-

 

“Tada! I found this koi pond awhile ago- isn’t it nice?” Taise gestured around him to trimmed hedges circling around a beautifully decorated koi pond, where fish of all different patterns and sizes were swimming around. Yuudai felt.. Impressed at all of this. 

 

He felt kind of important, too. 

 

But the next thing he knew his hand was being held again, and Taisei was urging him to gently sit down. Taisei sat at the edge of the pond of which was circled by bricks, legs crossed over one another as he admired the fish. Yuudai hesitantly decided to do the same, his back terribly slouched. The comfortable silence hung in the air for another while, Yuudai’s eyes darting back from the koi to Taisei. This was..nice. 

 

Then the little peace was interrupted by Taisei speaking again. 

 

“So uh, Yuudai. If you don’t mind me asking, what uh.. What’s wrong? I don’t mean that in a rude way- ah, man, I hope that didn’t offend you. I just meant that uh. You’ve been seeming really upset about all this, and I don’t know if it’s my fault, or if something happened, or whatever. You can tell me though if something is wrong, I won’t mind.” Ah, that’s why he wanted to talk. Yuudai hesitated, before giving a loud sigh. His face scrunched up and he had to put his palms over his eyes, rubbing at them a bit. 

 

“Fuck. No I’m- I’m not upset with you or anything. You didn’t  _ do _ anything wrong, you’re just being excessively sweet and I’m not sure how to deal with that. As far as everything else goes I-” Alright, he had to stop himself before he went too far and started rambling away at the situation that had went down the other day. He just let his hands fall back into his lap, looking at the koi with a defeated expression. “..Nothing. I’m fine.”

 

But no. Apparently that wasn’t enough for Taisei to just shut up about it. He slid closer to Yuudai (fuck, their hands were touching, abort  _ abort) _ , but his expression remained worried. Taisei genuinely cared about this and Yuudai only now was just starting to realize that. 

 

“St-stop looking at me like that, god! Just-- just, give me a second.” Yuudai didn’t want to look at Taisei when his expression looked so fucking crushed. He groaned a little bit and let his knees press up against his chest, wrapping his arms around his legs and leaning his chin on them. Deep breaths.

 

“First of all, none of what I’m doing is  _ your  _ fault. At least, not in a bad way. I mean, you’re.. You’re just doing a nice job of being nice, which is what’s weirding me out. I don’t-” another long sigh, eyes squeezing tightly shut. “-I don’t know how to  _ deal _ with all this gross attention and affection.” 

 

His fingers were gently digging into his legs, but he just kept on going. The moment Arata came into his head he knew there was no turning back from this. 

 

“I had a boyfriend before. Fuck, he’s still tailing me around. The other day he-” no, he doesn’t need to explain all that. Yuudai hesitated, before continuing. “-He, said some things. I almost didn’t come out here because of ‘em. This guy is a douche, just picture that. You know, snapbacks, “huhuh hi babe you got kik lol???” kinda guy. I don’t..” Yuudai’s fingers were now curled tightly into his own hair, tugging at it slightly. He sounded like he was struggling. “Fuck, I  _ hate _ that guy. I wouldn’t even have this stupid scar if he wasn’t such an awful sleezebag who only thinks about himself!!! Who the hell does he think he is, coming up to me to try to  _ persuade  _ me that I don’t deserve anybody else other than him! He even tried to bash YOU, even though he has no fucking connection whatsoever! UGH!” Okay, he was seething now, and he realized he was probably causing a scene. He sucked in a breath, before slowly letting it out. “Long story short, I don’t trust people with their affection and stuff. I don’t know if they mean it? Because he sure as hell didn’t. And-” Ew, god, what the fuck was this? His voice got caught in his throat and--  _ no.  _  He was not going to cry in front of Taisei on the first date. Collect yourself. 

 

“-And I.. yeah. You probably understand where I’m going with this. Dating is an iffy thing for me, and I’m just starting to get used to it. Don’t think that I don’t trust you though- that’s not it. Fuck, if I’m gonna be honest with myself I trust you more than the shitheads that I work with. I’m just not..used to you.”

 

Well, it was all out there now, and Yuudai was fully prepared for Taisei to get up and leave, or start acting incredibly uncomfortable. He was even expecting the arm wrapping around his shoulder, tugging him a bit closer-

 

Wait.

 

No he fucking was not. 

 

Yuudai was now leaning awkwardly against Taisei’s side, head pressed up against his shoulder. Taisei had an arm around him but wasn’t doing anything, just..holding him there? Surprisingly Yuudai didn’t try to push away, and so Taisei took this as an opportunity to speak. 

 

“That sounds awful. I can’t really  _ empathize _ with any of that, obviously, but.. Man, it really is bad to hear that you had to go through all that. This whole date thing must be really scary, or at least uncomfortable! And I kinda get it- dating has to be hard now since he essentially ruined that whole thing with you.” He paused, tucking his hair behind his ear so he could look at Yuudai clearly. Both eyes staring directly down at him. 

 

Taisei had pretty eyes. 

 

“I really like you Yuudai. I do! That’s genuine at least, and I like seeing it when you’re comfortable and happy. If.. you don’t think this dating thing will work out, that’s okay! I’d still really like to be your friend, and I’m definitely still going to be here if you need to talk about anything. It’s cheesy, yeah, but I mean it! ”

 

Taisei looked so fucking happy, beaming a large smile down at Yuudai (how could he smile so wide and look so nice and  _ not _ seem creepy). This was awful, this date was not supposed to go like this, he wasn’t supposed to  _ feel _ like this, but he couldn’t help it. Taisei was a filthy, awful, disgusting, beautiful, incredible, fantastic human being of whom Yuudai couldn’t fucking get out of his head. He was overwhelmed with emotion, and was now acting on impulse as his fingers curled into the collar of Taisei’s shirt, tugging him down for a really bad kiss. 

 

There was too much teeth and Yuudai could definitely feel Taisei’s smile growing, but he couldn’t bring himself to care. He just held the kiss there, both parties eventually melting into it and forming it into an actually decent, nice, and meaningful smooch. 

 

Eventually they both broke away for air, Yuudai still clutching tightly onto Taisei’s shirt. He was so overwhelmed, all he could think of doing was letting go of Taisei, his eyes wide. He wanted to shove Taisei away like he was a three year old that just broke his favorite toy, but god he also wanted to just sit there with him and forget all of the bullshit that just happened. It looked like the former wasn’t happening, as he realized when Taisei curled his arms around him, pulling him into a hug that was surprisingly heartfelt. 

 

Yuudai didn’t have the guts to push away. Instead he let his own bony arms awkwardly wrap around Taisei, his chin gently resting against his shoulder. Taisei’s hair was in his face but he didn’t really care- he just..let their heads lean together, a slight scowl on his face even though he was happier than he had been in awhile. 

 

“..Does this mean you’re okay with dating me?” Taisei mumbled, affectionately tracing an odd pattern on his back. 

 

“Yeah..Yeah. It does.” Yuudai mumbled, realizing that Taisei was trustworthy and definitely worth giving a shot. Arata never poured this much affection into anything, and this was only a hug. Taisei seemed so.. Genuine with it. He also seemed very excited about the fact that they now were officially dating, it seems. He slowly pulls his head back, letting their foreheads bonk together gently. Yuudai mumbles a small ‘ow’, even though he  _ knows  _ it doesn’t hurt. Taisei is beaming at him with a smile so wide it could rip apart the cosmos, and they both stare at each other for a few seconds, as if communicating. What they’re really saying is just a confirmation, before Taisei is leaning in again, actually managing to give Yuudai a proper kiss. 

 

It’s nice. Really nice. Nothing too much, not too much pressure nor too much heat to it. It’s tender, something warm that makes Yuudai feel like he’s safer now. His fingers gently curl up into Taisei’s hair, and the taller is now wrapping his arms around Yuudai’s waist, just for the sake of having him closer. Their lips move in gentle tandem, sweet and slow, neither of them pushing anything. They’re comfortable, happy. 

 

The both of them do need air, and when they pull back Taisei just immediately goes in for the hug again. Yuudai doesn’t deny him of this, but he does give a soft grunt to show that he’s internally disgruntled about it. Taisei just keeps him closer, his smile doubling in size. 

 

“Thanks Yuudai.” he mumbled, gently nosing at the other’s neck and giving a soft huff of giddy laughter. Yuudai himself just sighs, his shoulders twitching slightly at his breath. 

  
“It’s alright. Thank you, too. I guess.”


End file.
